


Love

by otomekaidii



Series: Love for Levi [15]
Category: Shall We Date?: Obey Me!
Genre: Asexual Character, Asexual Relationship, Asexuality Spectrum, Best Friends, Coming Out, Cuddling & Snuggling, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fluff, Forehead Kisses, Friendship/Love, Gender-Neutral Pronouns, Gender-neutral Reader, Hugs, Hurt/Comfort, Internalized Acephobia, Love Confessions, M/M, Not sure that applies but better safe than sorry, Other, Reader-Insert, Romantic Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-18
Updated: 2021-01-18
Packaged: 2021-03-16 09:43:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,503
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28829097
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/otomekaidii/pseuds/otomekaidii
Summary: You head to Levi’s room to check on him after not hearing from him all day, only to find him crying alone. After talking with him, you both learn something special about one another.
Relationships: Leviathan (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!) & Reader, Leviathan (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!)/Reader
Series: Love for Levi [15]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2020585
Comments: 13
Kudos: 108





	Love

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ShinySylveon](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShinySylveon/gifts).



> This is my first time writing a story with asexuality in mind. Usually I try to write things a little vague and leave them open to interpretation, but this one was something special. 
> 
> I only recently discovered, at 32 years old, that I am in fact asexual and had completely misunderstood so many things about my life and relationships. I know my experience isn’t the same for everyone, but it’s still my own. I hope I did this story and this topic justice, and that it can serve as comfort/validation for others that may be dealing with similar feelings and concerns. ❤️

You were standing outside of Levi’s door debating whether or not to knock. Usually he was the one calling and texting you, inviting you to join him to play games, or watch anime, or just to hang out together in his room. But today, he had been quiet. Something that hadn’t happened since your early days in the Devildom. 

To make matters worse, he was leaving all your messages on read, so you weren’t sure if he was mad at you or just too busy to respond. And you couldn’t think of anything that he had been looking forward to recently that would leave him so occupied. While you were contemplating your options, you pressed your ear to his door to see if you could hear any sounds from inside that might give you a clue as to what he was doing. That’s when you heard the unmistakable sounds of your favorite otaku sniffling and choking back sobs. 

“Levi?”, you called out to him, opening his door without waiting for a response. 

“Hmm?! Yeah?!” Levi startled, roughly scrubbing at his face to rid himself of his tears and trying to make himself look at least a bit like he hadn’t spent the better part of the day sitting in his room feeling sorry for himself.

“Hey, Levi, what’s wrong?” you asked him gently, as you sat down next to him by his aquarium, facing the opposite direction so you could see him better. He had his knees drawn up to his chest, and by now had given up trying to dry his tears and instead just hid his face in his arms.

When Levi didn’t respond, you simply wrapped your arms around his head and shoulders and held him, running your fingers through his hair. He stiffened for a moment, unsure if he really wanted you so close right now, but soon he had released his hold on his own legs, opting instead to wrap his arms around your middle, practically pulling himself into your lap in the process. And as soon as his face was hidden in the fabric of your shirt, he started crying once more.

All you could do for Levi was hold him, gently rubbing his back and combing his hair with your other hand. You had never seen him so upset before. Is this why he was hiding in his room all day? 

“It’s ok Levi, it’s ok.”

But it was definitely not ok. At least not from Levi’s perspective. This had officially been the worst day ever, and there was exactly zero possibility of it getting better. He had stayed up late the night before, crafting the most eloquent love letter he had ever written (well, the only love letter he had ever written), determined to give it to you today to tell you how he felt. And just as he was about to slip it under your door, he stopped dead in his tracks, watching as you smiled and laughed with his brothers on your way to breakfast. 

Oh. That’s right. How had he forgotten? 

Levi wasn’t stupid, he could tell how smitten his brothers were with you. It was obvious to anyone with eyes, and especially obvious to him who had known them for so long. They had all changed in subtle ways, becoming kinder, softer, more loving, since you had come along. And he had changed too. He knew that. He wrote a love letter for goodness sake. He never would have imagined he would be doing that for anyone that wasn’t 2D. 

Still, there was one striking difference between himself and his brothers that he knew from all his anime and manga and dating sims was an essential part of any healthy relationship, and it wasn’t something he could give you. At least, not how he knew it was supposed to be. He loved you more than anything, he had no doubt in his mind about that. He even thought sometimes that you loved him too, with the way you would smile at him or gently hold his hand when he got anxious. But that didn’t make any difference did it? Love alone wouldn’t change things.

That didn’t stop him from clinging to you though, sobbing into your shirt and wishing you could just know how he felt and that he didn’t have to put it into words or explain. Hoping that maybe, just maybe, you felt the same, even though he knew that was impossible. But he could still dream couldn’t he? Dreams were all he had left now.

After a while, Levi’s breathing started to calm and he was able to focus on the sound of your heartbeat. He loved that sound. More times than he’d care to admit, he had gotten distracted just listening to it while you cuddled with him and watched a show together. Sometimes even falling asleep. You had never said anything to him about it before, but the way you held him to you now made him think that perhaps you knew and wanted to make sure he could hear it.

“Sorry,” he mumbled, trying to sit up, but you didn’t let him go and he didn’t fight you. He only snuggled closer to you, which made you smile as you hugged him tight.

“It’s ok, Levi. You don’t need to apologize,” you felt him nod against your chest, and you pressed a kiss to the top of his head. 

“I was worried about you today. I tried calling you and texting you all day at RAD,” you paused before continuing, “Can you tell me what happened?” 

He didn’t answer right away, and you felt his arms tighten around you.

“It’s ok, take your time. I just want to help,” you soothed, continuing to rub his back as you held him, patiently waiting for him to open up.

“...do you like any of my brothers?”

“Uh, huh? I mean, they're all important to me, if that’s what you’re asking. But where’s this coming from?”

“No, I mean _like_ like them. You know,” he mumbled into your chest.

“Like do I have a crush on them?”

“...yeah,” he replied, meekly.

“Well, no, I can’t say I do. But seriously, where is this coming from?”

Levi didn’t want to answer. He was bad at this stuff. It’s why he wrote the letter in the first place. His thoughts and feelings would just get so jumbled up whenever he tried to talk about these things out loud. He tightened his fist around the letter that he was still holding, crumpled up in his hand. Maybe if he could just give it to you, you would understand? 

This time when he tried to sit up and pull away from you, you let him, studying his face closely as he did his best to hide behind his bangs. When you noticed the wad of paper he was holding out to you, you took it from him and carefully unfolded it. 

“What’s this?” you asked, and when he still didn’t answer, you started to read. 

_Dear Henry,_

_I bet this is weird, getting a letter from me right? I hope you don’t mind. I thought about talking to you, but every time I tried I forgot what to say so I thought writing would be easier._

_I’m really glad that you were chosen for the exchange program, and that I got to know you. I’ve never had a best friend before. And you’re the best friend I could ever imagine. I know I’m just...well, me...but I hope I’m able to be at least half as good of a friend to you._

_I love you._

_xoxo,  
_ _Lord of Shadow  
_ _aka  
_ _Leviathan_

You had to read over the letter a couple times just to make sure it was real and you weren’t imagining the whole thing. Levi loved you? But why was he so upset? And what was with all the weird questions about his brothers? As much as you wanted to leap for joy after finally receiving his confession, you were also deeply confused. 

“Levi, I’m not sure I understand,” you asked, raising your head to look at him again. Levi was curled up on himself once more, hugging his knees tightly to his chest and keeping his face from view.

“What is there to understand? It’s exactly what it looks like.”

“Then why are you so sad?” you scooted closer to him so that your legs were touching again, and tenderly stroked his head, “Did you think I’d reject you?”

“That’s what you’re going to do isn’t it?” he said, sniffling and pulling his legs even closer.

“No, Levi. Of course not. I love you too.”

“It doesn’t matter.”

“Why would you think that?” your arms were now wrapped around his shoulders again, your cheek resting on top of his head. You had to admit that it stung hearing him reject your own confession, but it only strengthened your resolve to get answers.

“I’m not like my brothers.”

“I know, that’s why I’m here with you and not them.”

“I wouldn’t be a good boyfriend.”

“I’d like to be the judge of that.”

“But it’s true. I can’t...you know...do the thing.”

“The thing?” 

“Yeah the thing.”

“I don’t know what that is, Levi.”

“THE thing. The thing only couples do,” he was getting a bit frustrated now. Were you really going to make him _say_ it?

“Levi...do you mean sex?” you raised your head to try to catch a glimpse of Levi’s face, but all you could see were the tips of his (very red) ears as he turned his head more to the side and buried it further in his arms. 

“...yeah.”

“Hey, that’s ok. You don’t need to,” you said, wrapping your arms back around him, hugging him tightly. 

“Of course you need to. That’s what couples do,” Levi couldn’t conceal the waiver in his voice as his eyes started to well with tears once again. 

“And where did you hear that?”

“I dunno. Everywhere. It’s how it is, isn’t it? You fall in love, you kiss, you...you know...and that’s how you know you’re a couple.”

“Levi,” you chuckled softly, “this isn’t a shojo manga or a dating sim. There are plenty of people in relationships that don’t have sex.” You pressed another kiss to the top of his head as you started to run your fingers through his hair like you had been earlier. 

The truth was, this was the exact conversation you had been fearing and why you had avoided admitting to your own feelings for so long. You had been in relationships before, and some of them ended quite badly after you had explained your sexual preferences, or lack thereof you could say. The last thing you wanted was to have Levi reject you, but even more than that, you didn’t want him to think that there was something wrong with _him_ that made you not want to have that sort of a relationship. 

Learning that he felt the same way, and struggled with the same fears, was a huge relief to you, lifting a weight you hadn’t even been aware you had been carrying from your shoulders. 

“There are plenty of ways to be intimate, to feel connected, that don’t involve sex. And I think we have a pretty good connection already, don’t you?”

You heard Levi sniffle, before he cautiously raised his head to look at you. He was surprised to see the understanding in your eyes, as well as the soft smile that spread across your lips. He hadn’t thought it possible to love you anymore than he already did, but here he was, heart threatening to beat out of his chest, while you looked at him like he was the most precious person in the entire world. When his tears started to fall again, you were quick to pull him back into a hug, and this time he wrapped his arms around you and buried his face into the crook of your neck. 

“I love you, Levi. So much. So so so much,” you whispered to him, “Do you want to know a secret?”

Levi nodded against your neck, still too emotional to verbally respond.

“I feel the same way as you. I don’t want that sort of relationship either.”

He tightened his grip around you, soaking up all your words and reassurances. Did you really feel the same way as him? Is that why you understood him so well? Because you wanted the same things? Is that why he always felt so at ease around you? Because you never asked of him more than he was able to give?

“We can do things our own way, you know? That’s for us to decide. Doesn’t matter what anyone else does.”

“Really? I can just hug you and watch anime with you and stuff and you’ll be happy?”

“Yeah. I’ll be happy. I _am_ happy. You’re my best friend, aren’t you?”

“Yeah.”

“Then that’s all I need. My best friend.”

The two of you sat in comfortable silence for a while, hugging and cuddling one another, the occasional giggle being exchanged as the smile started to return to Levi’s face. 

“Hey, you think we could go cuddle in the bean bag? We could put on an anime or something if you want. My back is just getting kinda sore sitting on the floor like this,” you asked, straightening up and stretching out your neck. Levi was quick to agree and help you up off the floor, leading you by the hand to his oversized bean bag chair.

“Umm...do you think we could...just cuddle?” he gave your hand a small squeeze, blushing at having asked such a direct question. 

“Yeah, we can do that,” you replied, taking a seat and tugging Levi down to join you, causing him to tumble into your lap. 

“Ah! S-sorry…!” he scrambled to get off of you, but you only laughed and adjusted your legs so that he was seated between them, perpendicular to you. 

“It’s ok, you can stay,” you said with a smile, gently holding him in place with your hand on his hip. Levi’s blush deepened, but he nodded in agreement, quickly wrapping his arms around your middle and resting his head on your shoulder, with his forehead pressed against your neck. 

As you began to scratch his back, he relaxed more fully against you, enjoying your warmth and the tenderness of your touch. He could feel his worries melting away. He felt so safe with you. So _understood._ Accepted. It didn’t matter what weird quirk he revealed to you, intentionally or otherwise, you always embraced it, often revealing one of your own to help put him at ease. It was like the two of you were made for each other. Soulmates, if such a thing existed. And his heart had never before felt so full.

“I love you,” he whispered.  
  


“I love you too, Levi,” you replied.

**Author's Note:**

> To ShinySylveon - I’m not sure if you remember, but you bookmarked one of my stories (“Drunk”) awhile back, and left a tag on it about how much you looked for ace content and appreciated what I wrote (even if I didn’t mean it that way). 
> 
> At the time, I hadn’t written it with that in mind, but after doing some research for another story idea I had, I came to realize that *I* was in fact asexual myself (and that everything I knew about asexuality was wrong lol). I felt like I should send you some sort of message to thank you for bookmarking my story and the tag you left, and what better way to do that than to dedicate a story to you? ☺️
> 
> So I hope you enjoyed this story just as much as I enjoyed writing it. ❤️


End file.
